Don’t ever ask a beauty crazy to choose between you and her limited edition foundation brush. It won’t end well.
Seeing bad makeup everywhere you go and constantly wielding the burden of so much beauty knowledge is enough to make anyone go nuts. These are the problems only beauty crazies understand…
1. When someone tells you, “Don’t worry about makeup, there’s no time.”
2. When your boyfriend is hurrying you up and you’re trying to choose a new lipstick at the MAC counter.
3. No one can console you quite like your beauty bag.
4. When you can’t give your significant other the same level of attention you devote to your mascara.
5. Seeing someone with poorly matched foundation actually hurts your eyes.
6. The urge to burst into tears when you drop your powder compact and it explodes everywhere.
7. Your friends are putting money aside for booze on the weekend. You’re putting it aside for a $120 foundation brush.
8. You often find yourself giving the sales people at the beauty counter makeup tips.
9. The constant burden of having so much beauty knowledge and so many ugly people to share it with.
10. The sheer horror you feel when your brother/husband/flatmate slaps a huge handful of your $300 jar of night cream on his face because he can’t find his after-shave moisturiser.
11. When you only have enough room in your clutch for one lipstick and you feel like you understand the plight of Meryl Streep in Sophie’s Choice.
12. Wanting to slap someone in the face when they tell you they think makeup is a waste of money.
13. You’d rather take long romantic walks down the makeup aisle than anywhere else.
14. You’ve run out of space to store your beauty products.
15. People are forever assuming you’re a ditz because you’re obsessed with beauty.
16. When someone asks you, “What’s better? Sex or makeup?”
17. Not wanting to take your makeup off at the end of the day because you look so goddamn pretty and it’s not fair.