Psychic reads wax strips

Reading tea leaves is so last century. A New York psychic is reading women’s fortunes by studying their bikini wax strips. 

 

New York psychic Kat Thek is reading women's used wax strips.
New York psychic Kat Thek is reading women’s wax strips.

 

While we have been writing stories about how to clean up used wax strips, on the other side of the globe, there is a Brooklyn-based psychic urging women to keep theirs. Why? So she can read their fortune.

Yes, you read correctly. New Yorker psychic, Kat Thek, is reading used wax strips to create a personal “constellation” for her clients.

The idea to use wax strips to tell people’s fortunes struck Kat when she saw Jurassic Park, explaining: “I noticed the mosquito’s amber looked like beauty wax; I happened to be waxing at the time,” Kat has said. “That gave me an idea; if scientists could bring dinosaurs from the past to the present using amber, then naturally I could bring the future to the present using beauty wax.”

There is something fundamentally flawed with this thinking – that being that scientists cannot actually bring dinosaurs to the present – but hair is undeniably and scientifically personal so perhaps (if you’re into the perverse and completely bonkers) there is something in this hairy variety of fortune telling.

 

Kat Thek brings new meaning to getting the bikini line done.
Kat Thek brings new meaning to getting the bikini line done.

Mercifully Kat doesn’t need the actual strips to do her thing, nor do clients need to front up red-faced for a reading (which might account for Kat’s success). All Kat asks for is a photo of the used strip – after her reading she then emails back her analysis.

Far fetched as it might seem, Kat Thek’s pubic hair reading process is quite specific.

“When analysing the photos, the psychic follows a very specific process,” says Kat Thek. “The first thing I do is find the North Hair. After that, I find the smallest hair and the largest hair. These three points form the Trifollica. Located within the Trifollica is the past, the future, the everything.”

Ok….

Next, Kat creates a constellation from the hair. “I read the curl angles, strand density, follicular lines, and colorisation to reveal the stars of one’s personal constellation,” Kat Thek says. She also adds: “What remains unwaxed is just as important as what is waxed.” (How she knows what is and what is not waxed from one wax strip remains a mystery.)

She sees a lot in the bikini wax strip because they are “rooted in the sacral chakra and contain valuable romantic insights,” while “eyebrow strips are connected to the third eye and are useful for anticipating passive-aggressive jabs” which, admittedly, makes vague sense.

In case you’re curious, Kat Thek’s cryptic, often undecipherable, readings are charged based on the wax owner’s income (obviously you could try to keep that information from her, but well, she is psychic).

Yes, it’s a tad crazy, but also a kind of ingenious stroke of reinvention; who knew we were throwing away the key to so many women’s fortunes every day! So next time your client is asking to take a picture of her wax strip, well, you know why.

 

 

Have your say: What do you think of pubic hair readings? Crazy? Or is there something in it?

 

 

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